Bloat Thursday and Black Friday... what Holidays have become...

     Can you remember the days when Thanksgiving meant waking to a small breakfast then smelling delicious food cooking all day as Mom did a dizzying dance in the kitchen, putting on this pot and adding that pan to the oven in a carefully orchestrated ballet of perfect timing?

     Friends and family would start to arrive just as the parades were getting close to the end and Santa was about to be announced... calls ringing through the house in quick bursts of cold air from the opening door.  Coats coming off and either slipping into closets or piling up on a bed as voices rise with excitement... adults trying to hug and not trip over the excited children as they dashed about.

     The big moment would start to get near... the tinkling of ice cubes in glasses as water was readied, a train of eager helpers who were mostly getting in the way of each other as platters and bowls of steaming delights were carried to the table and arranged strategically so that everyone's favorite dish would be close at hand.

     Then you would sit and the turkey would be carved, bowls passed hand to hand as plates would swiftly fill then the moment when thanks were given and silence as the first bites were savored.  

     Talk would slowly start to fill the room again as a second helping of this was put on the plate... maybe just a bit more of that... diets on hiatus for "the holiday" because meals like this come only once a year.

     After dinner it would be a slow shuffle to a comfortable chair... stomachs full to aching, belts loosened (though the smart wore something with elastic to expand with comfort) and a few half-hearted mentions of maybe taking a stroll to "walk off that meal" knowing full well that the only walking to be done would be for coffee and pie then home to bed.

     It was a day to show thanks for the bounty of life with a grand display of gluttony followed by days of left-overs as dishes were reborn to new delights of soups and casseroles or seasonal sandwiches.

     Something changed, though...

     Meals were rushed... 

    Why?

     Because this year the "Black Friday" sales... that day of greed and spendthrift spending frenzy... started the night of the day we are supposed to be giving thanks for the things we have.

     "Black Friday" has morphed from a simple day of sales to 'officially start the Christmas Season' to a spending feeding frenzy with all the grace of sharks picking off anything in sight without caring about what is being bitten.  In a feeding frenzy a shark will bite anything and everything... and in the Black Friday frenzy people will drop all semblance of civility and humanity to purchase things that they seem to value more than human life or dignity.

     What started as a single day of blood-lust spending has grown... now Thanksgiving night is no longer for that bite of pie and turkey induced stupor.  No... it is for rushing to a store and shoving people, punching them and trampling them to get the item that *everyone* must have.

     The poor workers are often victims of the inhumanity  and not only are forced away from their own families and homes by corporate greed and the greed of consumers and customers who cannot wait a single night but are verbally and physically attacked in thanks for it.  

     Now add "Small Business Saturday" and "Cyber Monday" to the mix...

     I can understand that Small Business cannot compete with the big chain stores and their sales and a special day set aside to encourage people to visit small local business and buy from them has my moral support... but Cyber Monday???  Seriously, people...

     I am all for a good sale... heck, some people call themselves 'frugal' but I am happily cheap and do not like to ever pay full price for anything but a line has to be drawn and people have to stop buying into the idea that the Holiday Season is all about people getting the most crap to give and who can give the most expensive crap for the least amount of money.

     Think it is not 'crap'?

     Can you even remember what you got last year for Christmas and how long you actually used the items?

     There might be one or two presents you remember... and use... but you have to admit that most of what is given is fad 'crap' that is enjoyed for a few days or a few weeks then finds it's way into a closet or under a bed before getting donated, given away, re-gifted, exchanged or simply tossed out.

     Want to know why so many people are losing the "Holiday Spirit" and are often "over it" long before the holiday arrives?

     I will tell you why.... because it has somehow become about greed at the expense of everything else and people have completely lost the idea of the beauty of the season.

     We grew from children who loved to take small torn bits of tissue paper and glue and make snowmen on construction paper to decorate our rooms... rings of paper turned into chains to string in festive delight... laying on our bellies on the floor the first night the tree was lit to watch how the twinkling lights reflected off the ornaments and counting down the days then minutes to Christmas morning to adults who try to out-do last year and out decorate the neighbors.  

     We gave up tradition for the sake of 50% off a game that will be played for a week or two until the next new big game comes out and the child wants to trade in that old used game for the new one.

     When I was a child a Monopoly game was not traded in... it did not go out of style in a week or two when a new version came out.  A jump rope became a tug-o-war rope or a rope to pull a sled and was used until it frayed and broke.  A game of jacks not only helped with hand eye coordination but doubled as a way to set booby-traps for siblings and toys ran on imagination and not power cords.

     It is no wonder that so many suffer from depression this time of year... we sold our wonder and indentured the Sugar Plum Fairy for the chance to have indigestion in a store Thanksgiving night as we shove another human being to the ground and step on them so we can save a few dollars.  

     Want to get some of that old feeling back?

     Do something about it... decorate a tree outside for the birds with strings of popcorn, cheerios and pine cones smeared with peanut butter and rolled in bird seed.  Have everyone draw a name of a family member and make something home-made for them as a gift.  Drive around town and look at the decorations then have hot cocoa and cookies with the kids as you decide as a family who has the best decorations then give the winning place a gift (a plate of cookies... a candle... sing them a song).  

     

Love the "Pledge of Allegiance"? Then You are a Socialist!

     I am sure that there are people ready to burn me at the stake while holding misspelled protest signs, but if something is created by a Socialist then it is a Socialist entity, and the "Pledge of Allegiance" was created by Frances Bellamy, a Socialist Baptist minister.

     "His original Pledge read as follows: 'I pledge allegiance to my Flag and (to*) the Republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.' He considered placing the word, 'equality,' in his Pledge, but knew that the state superintendents of education on his committee were against equality for women and African Americans. [ * 'to' added in October, 1892. ]"

     The original Pledge was published in the September 8th issue of The Youth's Companion, the leading family magazine and the Reader's Digest of its day.

     Then in 1923 and 1924 the National Flag Conference, under the 'leadership of the American Legion and the Daughters of the American Revolution, changed the Pledge's words, 'my Flag,' to 'the Flag of the United States of America.' Bellamy disliked this change, but his protest was ignored.

     Finally, in 1954, Congress after a campaign by the Knights of Columbus, added the words, 'under God,' to the Pledge. The Pledge was now both a patriotic oath and a public prayer.

     Bellamy's granddaughter said he also would have resented this second change. He had been pressured into leaving his church in 1891 because of his socialist sermons. In his retirement in Florida, he stopped attending church because he disliked the racial bigotry he found there.

      I would suggest that those who have read my humble Snark also read this (I have quoted some information from that site) and embrace their Socialist selves.

     I wonder just how many Americans that read this in complete disgust will go off the deep end and decide that they will no longer recite the Pledge of Allegiance?

     Think that will NEVER happen because as disgusted as they will be by knowingly reciting socialist words these people are true Patriots and love their country then you need to remember that it is these self same Patriots that want to leave the nation they claim to love because of a lost election... I would put nothing by them.

      

These Things Bug Me!

     They might just be expressions, but the truth behind them are the kinds of things that make me run in tight little circles with my hands shaking fast in front of me while chanting "eww eww eww EWWWW!".

     "Nit Picking"- this does not mean that someone is picking on your knitting abilities or your sweater choices... it literally means picking lice eggs off of someone!  It means that someone is going to enter your personal space so much that they will be inspecting you at very close range for the tiniest little flaw and EXPECTING to find fault with you.  BUT!!! What it really means is that they expect that your side of an issue or idea is so flawed that it is "unclean" and filled with vermin that they will have to point out and remove.

     "Put a Bug in Your Ear"- Anyone who has ever had a bug in their ear can tell you (I have not had this happen, but I have seen it on TV) that not only is it painful but it is also impossible to think of anything else.  Those little buggy legs and feet stomping around in a sensitive ear canal as it struggles to turn around and get out, the ear canal swelling from the irritation making it even harder.  When someone says they are going to "put a bug in your ear" it means that they want you to think of nothing else and for it to 'pain' you until you can do something about it.

     "Cooties"- Guess what 'cooties' are?  LICE!  What is this obsession with lice???  When little boys and girls in the schoolyard say "eww, boys/girls have cooties" they are basically calling each other unclean.  (Okay, no huge shocker there)  What is shocking is that there is a children's game by this name and even an online version that can be found where the object of the game is to be the first to put together your bug and get cooties!  

     Just what is the obsession with lice and either wanting to pick them off people or be the first to have them?

     Just where might this idea that blood sucking vermin could be endearing have come from?

     I have an idea... and it just might shock you!

     During the Renaissance in France "some Frenchmen would pluck fleas from their lovers’ flesh and keep the insects as pets—it was a way to have a small piece of their beloved with them always. The fleas lived in tiny gold cages worn around the neck and were fed a daily meal of the man’s blood." The thought behind this being that their blood was now 'co-mingling' and that the flea represented their love.

     I am sorry, but no matter how cute you make lice or romantic you make a flea they will always be vermin... pests... unclean... annoying.

    Now everyone join me in the "ewww" dance... it is easy-- simply stand up, bend your arms and hold your hands at chest height close to your body and start shaking them very fast then run in little circles (or spin) and chant "eww eww eww EWWWW!".

      

Amish Mafia???

   Just when you think that the different cable channels have shown you every aspect of Amish life you can think of they manage to come up with another that I thought was just a joke.  

     Heck, it was and is a joke that I like to tell...

     "How can you tell the Amish Mafia is after you?"

     "You wake up one morning with a barn in your yard and a very angry quilt on the bed next to you!"

     It seems, however, that the Discovery Channel has found an "Amish Mafia" in Lancaster, PA and have decided to put it through the 'reality show' grist mill for the entertainment and titillation of the American viewing public.

    This Mafia is presumed to be the "Amish Police" and their job is to keep the Amish in line and walking the straight and narrow... the only problem is... the Amish have never heard of them and neither has anyone who has ever grown up near the Amish.

     It only makes, sense, though... after all, we hear all the time about the high speed buggy chases that happen with guns blazing after a corn husking gone bad.  (Insert sarcasm and stir  then bake at 350 for twenty minutes, sheesh people... no, this does not happen!)

     If there WAS an Amish Mafia keeping them all in line then there would be no Rumspringa (running around years when the Amish youth experience the "English" modern world before joining the Church and giving up such things) and those that left the Amish would go into hiding and not on cable reality shows talking about how they left.

    They would go into hiding... though... since the Amish do not have television sets in their homes or the internet I guess the case could be made that they were safe on TV because they would never be seen.  It is not like any neighbors that are not Amish would *ever* tell their Amish neighbors about what they saw on TV. (Yes, more sarcasm... )

     On an unrelated note... I awoke this morning to find this lovely gift on my bed next to me!

     It has such lovely tiny hand stitching... and just look at that happy smile!

     I guess we will just have to wait until December to see what the Discovery Channel has come up with that they can call an "Amish Mafia", but as for this dedicated Blogger... I am just not buying it!

     

Why I Read Books and Not Screens

     As a dedicated bibliophile I feel the need to explain why I feel that a book will always be superior to an e-reader.

     There is something about holding a book in your hands as you curl up with it on a rainy afternoon with a nice warm drink at your side that cannot be replicated with a digital device. The world outside grey and subdued, rain tracing crystalline tears down the windowpane as you escape to another world... only the rustle of paper as you turn the page invading your peace.  It is that rustle of paper that lets you know that the story continues... you can tell how far you have come in the story and how far you have to go as the weight of the pages slowly transfer sheet by sheet from one palm to the other.

     Buying a book is a personal experience... you go to the store and look at the vast array of titles, the covers bright and inviting as they vie for your attention.  Names of the story tellers old friends that invite you to come back and listen to another delightful tale... new names shy as they beckon you over to introduce yourself to their world.  You pick up books, hefting their size in your hand while inspecting them and looking at the back to see if this is the adventure you want today, often finding many that you would like to take and slowly narrowing down your choices.  You make selections to take home today as a mental list builds of the others you will come back for, knowing they will be waiting for you.

     An e-reader does not give you this... instead it is cold and impersonal as you look over a list of names and titles... it does not encourage you to try something new and expand your vision of the world but instead subtly directs you towards suggestions based on what you have already read.  

     One you buy a book it is yours and unless you give it away it always will be yours.  You can throw it, drop it, step on it and even read it in the bathtub because if you were to drop it in the water all you would need to do is set it aside and let it dry before you go back to reading it.

     Books pass through hands... from the moment they are created, that birth of imagination from the writer, they pass through hands to you and beyond.  People work at the printing facilities, drivers carry the books to distributors, people place them on the shelf, a cashier trades you an escape of imagination for a little money and when you are done you pass it on to another.  These are real people that make their living bringing books to you... with an e-reader these people are left out of the loop and losing their jobs.

     Every hand that touches a book leaves a story of their own behind... and one of my favorite places to purchase a book is a charity thrift store because I know that the money I spend there will go to help someone.   Okay, I also love buying books there because I can get a ton of books cheap, lol.

     I love going to the Library and checking out books to read as well... these books have passed from hand to hand in an endless cycle and sometimes I wonder what things these books have seen.  They have been carried by women that do not know that tonight the man they love will ask them to marry them... held by a person on their last day on earth before they head off to the store and meet up with a drunk driver... read to a child who misses their father deployed overseas and comforted someone in the hospital as they wait to go home.  These books give an escape to everyone that touches them, every escape just a little different as that person sees the story tinged with their own life experiences.

     At the end of the day, I will lay down with a book... the world at slumber outside of my walls as I slowly turn the pages until I grow weary and fold down a corner of a page and set he book aside until tomorrow when I can instantly slip into that alternate universe and continue my journey.

     No e-reader can give me these things nor can it touch so many lives.

     Oh, and if stuck on a deserted island a book can double as toilet paper! (Hey, did you honestly think I could keep all snark out of this post?)

       

     

Crazies Unite to Un-Unite!

     There is a new movement that has taken idiotic storm... 

     In an earlier post I wrote about how there were petitions at WhiteHouse.GOV made by people asking for their States to be allowed to secede from the United States of America because they are upset that a legal election happened and their political party lost.

     The number of States with petitions has increased to 22... making me wonder how long it will be until every State is listed by people who lose an election as gracefully as a spoiled 10 year old looses a game of Monopoly!

     I have an idea for a new petition and wonder if I were to create it at WhiteHouse.GOV in the "We the People" petitions area just how many signatures it would get.

     My idea... "Petition to request mental evaluations on those petitioning to Secede from the United States of America"!

     I am sorry (okay, I am not one bit sorry) but losing an election is not a valid reason for wanting to leave a country you claim to love.  The same people who have posted these idiotic waste of time (though amusing to those with rational thought) were the ones who considered themselves to be the new "Tea Party"and claimed to be "true Americans" and patriots.

     They are now proving their absolute patriotism by wanting to leave the very country that they rabidly declared to love, with hand over heart screaming the 'Pledge of Allegiance' and calling anyone that did not flock to Fox News in droves and drink the Conservative Crazy Kool-Aid (now in Patriotic Punch!) a socialist communist traitor.

     It really does boggle the mind just how they jump from declaring to be a 'true patriot' to wanting to expatriate simply because the Democratic process the United States of America allows people to vote with majority rule deciding who will hold the office of President every four years and the person they were told would win by the only 'news' (and I use that term lightly) agency they watched did not win.

     I think the truth of the matter is that we have witnessed the true Zombie Apocalypse... people allowed their minds to be taken over by a single source of information and became mindless drones repeating whatever their ideologue told them to and like a cult drank their Kool-Aid.  They sat waiting for the election like cultists waiting for a comet to come and take them to a wonderful new world.  When the comet never arrived they were bitter and needed to lash out, so they raced to their creator and bowed to the network talking heads awaiting their new instructions.

     Instead of blaming their news source for passing on skewed polls and false information as fact they decided that the Nation itself was in the wrong and they no longer wanted any part of it.  Had they bothered to view any other source of information they would have realized that there was a chance they could lose the election... but they were told not to watch or listen to anything not Fox approved and like good little Zombies they obeyed.

     

Pheochromocytoma- Monday Zebra

Condition- Pheochromocytoma

Pronunciation- fee-oh-crow-moe-sigh-tow-mah

Rarity- Very Rare

Difficulty in Diagnosis- mixed, while there is a test to diagnose this condition, finding a doctor that will know to test for it can be difficult.

     Pheochromocytoma is a rare endocrine tumor that is usually located on the adrenal gland (the adrenal glands are located on the kidneys) and are often referred to as "micro tumors" because they tend to be very small, though their impact can be startling because they release adrenal hormones and can cause dramatic symptoms.

     The symptoms of Pheochromocytoma can mimic many other conditions and for that reason can be very difficult to get a diagnoses because, as the saying goes, when looking for horses no one ever looks for a zebra.  Basically, this means that Physicians will often test for and treat the symptoms of the disease because often the most common cause is the correct one.

     It is only when symptoms intensify and do not respond to conventional treatment that a Physician might consider looking at the more rare conditions... but even then there are so many conditions that cause the same symptoms that it is like trying to find a needle in a haystack of possible ailments.

     The symptoms of Pheochromocytoma are-

• Excessive Sweating
• High blood pressure- uncontrollable high blood pressure and hypertensive crisis
• Rapid heart rate- also known as tachycardia
• Forceful heartbeat
• Profound sweating
• Abdominal pain
• Sudden-onset headaches - usually severe and of varying duration
• Anxiety
• Sudden uncontrollable rage
• Feeling of extreme fright
• Pale skin
• Weight loss

     If a pheochromocytoma tumor is suspected the first test that will be given is a 24 hour urine test which will check for certain hormones released by the adrenal glands.   If this test comes back elevated the next test to be done would be a specialized scan to locate the tumors.  The most common place for them is on the adrenal glands, but they are not ALWAYS located there and because of the size of them (as stated before, they are micro-tumors for the most part) they can be very hard to find.

     The only 100% reliable treatment for a pheochromocytoma tumor is to remove it, because it will constantly release hormones and the symptoms can be very hard to manage with traditional medications or can be impossible to manage.

     Surgery to remove these tumors must be done with great care by a specialist because anesthesia issues can be common and blood pressure can go into hypertensive crisis even under anesthesia.

     There are many good websites for more information about this condition such as the one by the Mayo Clinic where you can find out more... but here are some interesting facts about this disease.

• Most people are diagnosed with a pheochromocytoma between the ages of 30 and 50.  Though it can happen at any age it is even more rare in those younger than 30 years of age.
• Most pheochromocytoma tumors are actually found in autopsy!
• Eating foods or drinking beverages with vanilla in them can affect the 24 hour urine test!
• Most pheochromocytoma are benign
• It can be hereditary 
• There could be a single tumor on one adrenal gland, one on both or they could actually be anywhere in the body but will still release adrenal hormones no matter where they are.

     Thus ends the first of what I hope to be many "Monday Zebra" posts about Rare and/or Incurable Conditions.  Keep an eye out every Monday as I highlight another condition to help spread the word about the world of rare conditions out there.

     If you have or know someone that has a Rare and/or Incurable Condition that you would like to see featured, please contact me and I will add it to the list of conditions that will be brought forth into the Snarky light every Monday.